Trixie and Katya's Guide to Modern Womanhood by Trixie Mattel (English) Hardcove

Description: Trixie and Katya's Guide to Modern Womanhood by Trixie Mattel, Katya *A NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER*The RuPauls Drag Race legends, stars of UNHhhh, and expert biological women share the secrets of their feminine mystique in this satirical guide to beauty and homemaking. Drag superstars Trixie Mattel and Katya have long captivated fans with their stunning looks, onscreen chemistry, and signature wit. In Trixie and Katyas Guide to Modern Womanhood, the pair channel that energy into an old-school etiquette guide for ladies.In essays, conversations, and how-to sections peppered with hilarious, gorgeous photos, Trixie and Katya will advise readers on beauty and fashion and tackle other vital components of a happy home, such as money, self-love, and friendship; sharing advice and personal stories in high-concept fashion. Informative, humorous, and heartwarming, Trixie and Katyas Guide to Modern Womanhood is the book that their fans have been waiting for. FORMAT Hardcover LANGUAGE English CONDITION Brand New Author Biography Trixie Mattel is a drag performer, singer-songwriter, and comedian. She is thinner and richer than Katya.Katya Zamolodchikova is a drag performer, actor, and comedian. She currently lives in Los Angeles with her wonderful husband, Gerald, and their four beautiful daughters, Linda, Terry, Leslie, and Gwen. Review "Drag Race fans, rejoice! Whether youre looking for health and beauty tips or microguides to running your home, youll find something to love in Trixie and Katyas Guide to Modern Womanhood."—Bustle, A most anticipated Book of July 2020 "If the shaking ghosts of Emily Dickinson, William Shakespeare, and Jane Austen could speak right now, theyd be all Oh, hoooooney! as drag superstars Trixie Mattel and Katya rise to the status of literary icons. . . . One of the funniest books of the year." —Entertainment Weekly "The Drag Race superstars have managed to boil down their collective, unmatched charisma to a series of essays—a working mix of satire and earnestness—that offer up advice on beauty, relationships, self-love, and friendship. A somewhat tongue-in-cheek play on the etiquette books of yore, there is no part of this breezy read that isnt thoroughly engaging."—The A.V. Club"RuPauls Drag Race alumnae Trixie Mattel and Katya deliver an outrageously funny satirical self-help guide that is also smart and insightful... a laugh-out-loud mixture of profane standup and stylish advice writing that rivals Miss Manners at her best. Filled with kooky, brightly colored photos of the outrageous duo, Trixie and Katyas Guide to Modern Womanhood is a visual delight. And the eye-catching design is matched by the smart and zany tongue-in-cheek advice skillfully dispensed by Trixie and Katya." —Shelf Awareness "Their first book is a satirical guide to life told through essays and conversations that channel their chaotic-in-a-great-way energy. . . . Will you cry-laugh? Yes maam." —PureWow Review Quote " Drag Race fans, rejoice! Whether youre looking for health and beauty tips or microguides to running your home, youll find something to love in Trixie and Katyas Guide to Modern Womanhood ." -- Bustle, A most anticipated Book of July 2020 "Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamolodchikova (better known by your dad as simply "Katya") are channeling their quick-fire wit from screen to paper in their first book. . . . Both informative and humorous." -- Entertainment Weekly "Their first book is a satirical guide to life told through essays and conversations that channel their chaotic-in-a-great-way energy. . . . Will you cry-laugh? Yes maam." --PureWow Excerpt from Book INTRODUCTION: YOU AS A HUMAN PERSON As far as we know, there are THREE facets of your humanity that make you YOU. INTELLIGENCE Have you ever heard the phrase "shes got a good head on her shoulders"? This isnt alluding to your competitively priced dandruff-controlling shampoo. Among all the attributes one can present, being the sharpest acrylic toenail on the foot is the most select. In the real world, outwitting another is the equivalent of creeping up to their ear and whispering, "I am inherently better than you." The iconic John Waters said, "If you go home with somebody, and they dont have books, dont fuck em! Dont sleep with people who dont read!" Truthfully, you dont know where they keep their books, so this advice is fairly incomplete. In the summer, I keep my books in my refrigerator next to my AAA batteries and my watermelon SKYY vodka. Also: Owning books doesnt make someone intelligent. Reading books doesnt even make someone intelligent. Youre reading a book right now and youre dumb as hell. Of course, intelligence presents in many forms. I once worked the front desk at a prestigious salon in Wisconsin. (Contradictory, I know.) Thats where I met Tara, a gorgeous young stylist with glowing skin, bright eyes, and supernaturally blond hair. She had a baby-doll voice and long charcoal lashes. Her clients consisted of women who wanted to be her and married men who wanted to abandon their families and abduct her. I was obsessed with Tara. The average person would look at a "Tara" and decide she couldnt be a thinker. After her client consults, however, I would watch Tara bubble into the color room, pull out her glasses, and transition into a talented chemist. She could double-, triple-process colors and buzz out a couple ultraprecise mens cuts in between. After performing dazzling feats of beauty, she would leave every client feeling like they just had lunch with a Playboy Bunny. Tara the not-so-scatterbrained stylist can teach us something! I learned that the girl who presents as "ditzy" might not want you to know how smart she is. Wielding intelligence welcomes expectation. Its better to lie in wait as a drooling stooge. Then you can floor everyone by solving a Rubiks Cube at a holiday party and be like, "What?" BEAUTY As long as Ive been alive, I have known I was gorgeous. The longing glances from adult strangers, the catty remarks from peers, the sexual advances from Uber drivers. Using vocabulary from my Friday afternoon Lyft trip with Mohammad, I am what you would consider "five stars." However, beauty is entirely in the eye of the beholder. For example: A Trixie Mattel show was reviewed in Newcastle. Lets call the reviewer Kate because thats her name. Kate described me as someone who "revels in the repulsion she exudes." Kate is, as my eye beholds, an ugly fucking cunt. Of course, many physical attributes are inherently beautiful. Symmetrical features, an oval face, a gold grill. But in modern beauty, individuality and confidence are the oval face. Look at me, for example. Young? Childlike. Tight? As a drum. But I am, most importantly, odd-looking. Some would say I look like Patrick Stewart as a gay farmer. Some would say I look like an ASL interpreter who moonlights as a Klan member. I think I look like Caillou with fetal alcohol syndrome. But looking like a cross-dressing Elmer Fudd gives me uniqueness, and uniqueness has a magnetism all its own. Even now, you are flipping to the cover of this book to reexperience my hypnotizing gaze. Go ahead. Ill wait. Conversely, let me tell you about my sister. In order to protect her identity, I dont want to use her real name, so lets call her "an embarrassment to my whole family." My sister is classically beautiful. Shes a tall Native American goddess. Almond eyes, full cheekbones, and artisanal arched brows. Even our familys tradition of poorly-cared-for teeth (see the chapter titled "Personal Hygiene") hasnt stunted her maturation into what rappers would call a "thicc shawty." However, the ETMWF has a tongue piercing. She also vapes and makes Instagram videos blowing the smoke out through her nose. A corrupted natural beauty, she is a Westin presenting as an airport Howard Johnson and I cry every night about it. Maybe living in the shadow of my beauty and fame has impaired her. In any case, a true beauty knows how to make it work, Tim Gunn style. With the transformative magic of styling, hair, and makeup, two gay men can meet on a reality TV competition show and rise to the top of the entertainment industry. Or, for even more of a stretch, you could love yourself. PERSONALITY I believe it was the great prophet Britney Jean Spears who said, "Theres only two types of people in the world; the ones that entertain and the ones that observe." Beauty is a lovely thing to possess, like dual citizenship or a will to live. And intelligence can really help you own a room--particularly if that room is a commercialized escape-room experience. But a great personality can perform wonders: get an ugly girl invited to a social event, keep Ted Bundy on the run, or even land you and your vascular friend a book deal. Personality is the characteristic behaviors, patterns, and qualities unique to you. If your beauty is the candy-bar wrapper, your personality is the brick of creamy nougat that says, "Im fun!" If youre not sexy, think of personality as a diversion. Who could stay focused on your pockmarked skin when youve got such an innate sense of whimsy? "Is half of her body burned? Oh, never mind--she just did a funny voice!" Of course, most of our personalities could use a little full-coverage concealer dabbed under the eyes. Maybe pull back on that embarrassing laugh. Save your unpopular political views for that midnight cross burning on your lawn. And most importantly, dont TELL people what to like about you; let people find out what they love about you on their own . You are a Wheel of Fortune puzzle that you must let those worthy of you figure out on their own. Regard your favorable personality traits the way you would feign surprise when complimented on a stunning evening gown-- "Oh, this old thing?" IN CONCLUSION Of course theres more to your being yourself than intellect, looks, and persona. There are friendships, family, and love . . . but there are also more important components, like your hairdo and the timbre of your voice. All of the facets that make up you as a human person. In this book, two of Americas most beloved model/actresses will guide you through every pivot point of female development, and we will buff out your dry cuticles along the way. Everything youve done, we have done well, and done it with fuller lashes. We have inhabited every reach of your failures, and done it with puke on our uncomfortable shoes. And may the best woman WIN! Details ISBN0593086708 Author Katya Pages 208 Language English Year 2020 ISBN-10 0593086708 ISBN-13 9780593086704 Format Hardcover Imprint Plume Country of Publication United States AU Release Date 2020-07-14 NZ Release Date 2020-07-14 US Release Date 2020-07-14 Illustrations 75 4/C PHOTOS THROUGHOUT UK Release Date 1900-01-01 Publisher Penguin Putnam Inc Publication Date 2020-07-14 DEWEY 818.602 Audience General We've got this At The Nile, if you're looking for it, we've got it. With fast shipping, low prices, friendly service and well over a million items - you're bound to find what you want, at a price you'll love! TheNile_Item_ID:128822078;

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